If you’re looking for a hotel that’s fine, this is your place. Not great, not terrible—just solidly, confidently average. The room was okay: nothing fancy, nothing tragic, just a bed, four walls, and the comforting hum of “you get what you pay for.”
Now, the pool. Imagine Times Square on New Year’s Eve… but wetter. I’ve never seen so many humans in one body of water. At one point I wasn’t sure if I was swimming or just being gently transported by the current of children. But hey, the kids loved it. We paid for them to be in the pool, and they absolutely got their money’s worth—especially with the bouncy castle, which was basically their personal kingdom.
The staff? Lovely. Pleasant. Cheerful in a way that made me wonder what kind of caffeine they’re drinking and where I can get some. Truly the highlight.
Food-wise, it was… food. The younger crowd seemed thrilled, piling their plates like they were preparing for winter. The older folks, meanwhile, looked like they were quietly negotiating with their digestive systems. But nobody died, so overall a win.
In short: if you have kids, they’ll have a blast. If you don’t, you’ll question every life choice that led you to an overcrowded pool on this March break. But the staff smiles, the room exists, and the children sleep well afterward—so honestly, that’s a victory!
Note: Faces of the little ones have been edited out to protect their identities and their future political careers
